One tiny chocolate chip in a big A** cookie!

So I had no idea how hard it is to keep up a blog! I mean it takes a lot of time to write down my thoughts everyday. I'm married, have a demanding job, a demanding dog, need to clean the house, need to workout, errands to run, the list goes on and on! But I'm going to make a very good effort to try blog everyday because I always feel better afterwards.

Originally I started this blog to track my progress as I lost weight. Well, as a serial yo-yo dieter that was just a waste of time. I am still trying to meet my goals, but as we all know, it tends to be easier said than done. So instead, I'm just going to include my weight loss journey inside my normal life blog entries. 

I don't know about your life, but sometimes I feel like one tiny chocolate chip in a big 'ol cookie!  What does that mean exactly?? Well, sometimes I feel like what I'm going through no one else is (plus I'm black and I live in Beaverton, OR so you know...) Sometimes it feels as though everyone else has got it together and I'm just this little chocolate chip trying to relate to the rest of the cookie! Do you ever feel that way?

I was reading an article somewhere that said that Facebook is making people fat and depressed. (Oh great, now I just made myself in reference to a cookie, so that may be accurate lol) But I totally believe this theory. People live 2 seperate lives: their facebook life and their REAL life.  On facebook they may appear to be travelling the world, buying expensive cars, and becoming TV stars. But did you know that the person travelling the world may not have kids, a mortgage, and student loans to pay for? Did you know that the person buying the expensive car may go home to live with their parents? Did you know that the person becoming a "TV star" was only an extra on sesame street? I mean lets get real people.

Why does facebook make people fat? Because people will stay on facebook for hours while eating cookies, chips, candies. People post their delicious dinners, post which restaurants they're eating at, and a lot of times if the person is already depressed and comparing their life to "Facebook Lives" than it could drive them to emotionally eat, therefore, becoming fat.  These are all just theories, but they make sense to me. 

This is not hating! If you are doing what you're doing and living the american dream to the fullest well than you're a bad mammajamma  (applauds, pat on back, gold star, high five).  But for the most part, people only put on facebook what they want you to know. Its a major brag ticket. I'm guilty of this! Even though my brag ticket is that "I love my family" "I got a job" "I can breathe" "I have a place to live" and "my husband is amazing." The main point is to not get caught up in it to the point where you're depressed and fat! Not a good look! I don't want to see any of y'all on the biggest loser giving your sob story for being morbidly obese and depressed because facebook made you that way.   Umm can you say, hell to the no?!! Your life journey is your own and there is no reason to compare it with someone elses.

Another thing that has been interesting in my life and some of you  may relate to this, is being black in a majority white city/state. I know, I know, using the race card. Well my sweets, that is truly my reality where I come from and it always has been. I'm always the "token" black person in most of my daily life. And guess what, IT'S NOT A BAD THING!!! AT ALL! NEVER HAS BEEN! People need to stop using that statement as if its a bad/weird thing.  I see it as an opportunity to share something that obviously very little people can where I come from. I just found out that at my current job, I am only the 2nd black person in the history of the place to be a paid employee! They have been around since 1978. Holy crap! I mean I guess thats an honor... I don't know. But it just adds to the strange things that  tend to happen to me.

As you go about your day today, I hope that you don't get so consumed by these fake facebook lives and focus more on your OWN life. We only have one life to live so make sure you put all your energy into your own life and make it great! I will leave you with a quote from Joseph Mankiewicz:

 "The difference between life and the movies is that a script has to make sense, and life doesn't."

Ta ta my sweets!

I'm back. My new love for coffee

Hello you beautiful doll faces!!! Those who follow me are probably wondering where I have been the past week or so.... well things are pretty insane in my life as always. There is never a dull moment in the life of me. But I am back and ready to take on the world!

So... I have a wedding that I'm going to next week. I'm really cutting back the carbs and the calorie intake so I can look decent at the wedding. Hopfully I won't eff it up at the reception. But there are usually healthy options at weddings minus the cake and free alcohol. So my "go-to" options are salad....salad....chicken...salad...fruit.... There is it people. What kind of BS is that?! This dieting stuff seriously blows, but I'm trying to be progressive in my life and bad carbs are not going to propell me forward to the body of my DREAMS!

I have a new werido obesssion. I have found a new love for coffee. I have NEVER liked coffee, EVER. In fact, I would have rather eaten a dirty shoe off of a homeless person than drink a cup of coffee. Why do people love that disgusting concoction of nastiness? WHY?!! Because it gives you WINGS!!! It's incredible! I drink a cup of coffee and I feel like I have transformed into an even more awesome person! HA!! Even though the stuff still tastes like bad breath, I will drink it because it has given me an amazing amount of energy.  But I refuse to spend the ridiculous amount of money for the crappy drink at Starbucks. Crap is crap... starbucks or not it still tastes like shit. I will just drink the cheap stuff that they offer us at our office. They try to disguise it in these fancy coffee pots, but we all know its butthole coffee. Gross...

Anyway... that is my coffee rant for the day. Now... GO OUT THERE AND BE SOMEBODY! Drink a cup of crappy bad breath while you're at it! You will feel FANTASTIC!!!!!

Cameron the Great & House Hunters

I decided that in order to reach my goals, I need someone to keep me accountable. You might be asking yourself, "Why doesn't she just use her husband or a friend/family member?" Well, I need someone who I have no ties to. Someone whose job is to see me reach my goals. So I hired Cameron to be my trainer! The best part is, he's doing it for ridiculously cheap!

You are probably wondering where I found this dude? Don't underestimate the power of Craigslist. I literally put an ad on craigslist asking if someone would like to be my trainer and PRESTO... 25 inquiries later, I found Cameron. He's awesome! He really understands fitness and training and has the knowledge to help me get to my goals.

Since this week is super crazy, our next session will be on Tuesday of next week. I'm SUPER RIDICULOUSLY EXCITED!

Anywho... along with the journey of getting fit, my husband and I are looking to buy our first house! Its MADNESS!!!  In an effort to have more fun along our journey, we decided that it would be fun to apply to House Hunters on HGTV. So we sent in all our info, and 3 weeks later we get a response from House Hunters saying they want to work with us! We all now know that House Hunters is completely staged, but at least there is a possibility that we could get some housewarming gifts out of our experience. They said that they have to wait until we are further along in the process before we can be selected. SOOOOO.. I will keep all you gorgeous people updated!!! This just keeps me even more motivated, I can't have my big giant ass cheeks on TV! Another reason to stay in the gym...

Key Lime Pie and Tony the Tiger

HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!! How was your weekend? Mine was absolutely FABULOUS! So I have to admit... I had a piece of Key Lime pie. YEP, I confess... I did it and it tasted Tony Tiger GRRRRRRRRRRREAT! But you all know what that means... hitting the gym today like a maniac. Although I did indulge in some delicious treats, I didn't let it completely ruin my day. I did workout on Father's Day and I didn't have a very large piece. But I wasn't going to let my longing desire for sweets ruin my day, so I just had a little bit.

I think this is what I'm learning. I can still indulge, but keep it as small and simple as possible and keep the workouts going. At this point in time, I am trying to remove bad habits and get into a routine. With that comes hard work, dedication, and an immense amount of will power. I know this is going to mean giving up my favorite sweet treats, but whatcha gonna do? Do better next time!

Here is what is on today's meal agenda.  I had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast... I will have a handful of almonds for a snack. Probably a salad for lunch and some sort of small piece of chicken and a veggie on the side for dinner.  Doesn't sound exciting, but what kind of diet food actually sounds exciting? Diets are not fun! I don't care who you are... they suck! They suck so effin bad! As long as you know this going in, you won't be as disappointed. A diet is a sacrifice and a new way of life. It is a choice we make to get healthier and getting there is a huge challenge. That is why so many people don't do well on diets.

I'm chosing to make a sacrifice for better health. If that means eating crappy diet food for a few months, than so be it! Bring it on beeyatch!!!... Oh, and tomorrow I see Lynx.... yay for acupuncture!

3 lbs down!

I lost 3 pounds!!! YAY! I'm so excited! I'm on my way.  Today I am going to my gym of choice (Crunch Gym) and I'm doing an hour of weight training and an hour of Zumba! I am a huge fan of Zumba and it is sort of like a reward to myself for completing an hour of hardcore weight training. I absolutely love dancing, so if I can get a good sweat out of something I love than I'm all over that!

Tonight will be a test. My brother-in-law and his family are moving away to Austin, TX and they are having a going away dinner at Red Robin. Great. Thankfully, Red Robin does have some healthier/low-carb options for me. I don't think it should be too bad, but no french fries or milkshakes for me today or ever again.

I must say, even though it has only been a few days, my body feels healthier and I feel good about my progress. I just have to stay encouraged and make the gym my best friend in the world. I HAVE GOALS TO MEET!

Speaking of goals, my husband won this crazy vacation trip for us to Costa Rica! So not only do I need to lose weight to become a fitness model, but I need to lose to look good in a bikini for our trip! Even though I have all these goals to meet, it is still difficult to stay motivated at this point in time. Its still early on and it hasn't yet become a routine to go to the gym everyday. Baby steps people, baby steps.

Chesticles and D listers

Chesticles.... they're the female version of testicles except they're on your chest and they're also called BOOBS! Since I have gained some weight my boobs are so enormous! This is actually the one part of my body that I don't mind being overweight. If they stayed the same and everything else changed, that might actually be pretty awesome. People pay for ta tas my size! My cleave is perfect at all times without any effort! Since I haven't had any kids yet, they're still super perky and juicy and delicious.... Sorry... I just really like them. LOL

For the women reading this, how many of you remember getting your first training bra? Well, I kinda feel the same way with these big 'ol titties. I have to experiment with bigger bra sizes. For as long as I can remember I have always been a 34C, probably for the past 8 years or so until now. I have slowly gone over to the world of the D lister. In Hollywood, a D-Lister is considered to be some "has-been" or lame child star. Tila Tequila is definitely a D-lister in my book. She was once famous by she's probably just doing porn or something now. LOL  But in the world of boobaliciousness, the D listers (D Cups) are the cream of the crop! I now know the perks that come with being a D lister. So I'm just enjoying it while it lasts until I go back to being just a crummy C-Lister. And don't get me started on the A listers, you guys have it rough as far as volume goes. But at least the A listers can wear pretty much any style of shirt and it looks fantastic!

With big chesticles come some other issues though. I don't like the fact that I went from a size small to a size large. I have always had bigger boobs, but now it is absolutely crucial that I double it up. Double it up means that you have to wear 2 sports bras in order to get the proper support during a workout.  If you have big boobs, you will know that if you're working out you can't just wear the baby spandexy bras that the boob deprived wear (no hate on baby boobies, you guys are hot and sexy too!). These knockers need some serious support! Double it up and you should be good to go.

When I was at my smallest weight (128lbs) I wore a B cup. They were cute little baby boobies, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with having big chesties either! Even though I am the weight that I am at, I have learned that I have to work with what I got at the moment, big ta tas or not.  Life is way too short and I just have to believe that the weight will come off and I will meet my goals. I think that women are beautiful, we all come in every shape and size. Some women have boobs, some don't! Whatever the case may be, love yourself because you're simple gorgeous darlin.  Ta ta!

The meal of oats,poopy butts, and a bendy straw.

Since I'm crazy enough to let strangers (& friends/fam)  know what I'm doing in my weight loss journey. I might as well share with you what I will be eating on my meal plan. Here is basically what I will be eating today! Everyone has their own type of diet that they stick to and everyone has their own opinions. Every human body is different! This is the diet that will be working for me, so if you have a problem with it you can just take your own meal plan and stick it up your opinionated poopy butt.  I don't care! This journey is about ME! Write your own blog about your own meal plan if its that important. Here ya go...

Breakfast
Oatmeal
3 Egg Whites

Snack
1 Larabar

Lunch
 Salad w/ chicken

Snack
1 Apple

Dinner
Small Chicken Breast
Whole Wheat Pasta

Snack
1 Orange

It's kinda sad to say but I have a hard time drinking enough water. I do like drinking water out of bendy straws though. I don't know if its my weird psychological regression back to childhood, but I just love my bendy straws!! Try it sometime, bendy straws make drinking water more fun!  If you ever want to make me really happy, buy me one of these bad boys and we'll have a bendy straw extravaganza!

I need to drink a minimum of 8 glasses of water a day.  I could get into the biological mumbojumbo about why water is important, but why even go there? We all know that we need to do it, so thats what I'm going to do. Boom.

I haven't narrowed down a specific workout plan yet. But it will be around 1.5-2 hours daily! Today I am focusing on weight training. This will be the main focus throughout this journey. Tomorrow, I will update you with my training schedule and how my workout went today! To be continued my sweets....